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tnadmin • June 28, 2021

When I ask people (especially men) how life is going they typically reply with…

“BUSY”

90% of the time they do not say it with excitement.

90% of the time they do not say it with a sense of peace.

90% of the time they do not say it with a sense of joy and anticipation for what “tomorrow” may bring.

In fact…

Most of the time their response indicates stress.

Most of the time their reply communicates frustration with life.

Most of the time their response implies they are tired.

Most of the time their answers leave but only a moment for empathy.

95% of the time I know if I’m given 30-60 minutes to sit and hear their story, I could help them devise a plan that will leave them feeling empowered, encouraged, and equipped to do life better without feeling the need to wear “busy” as a badge of honor.

Understand me correctly here…

I’m not claiming to have all the answers.
I’m not claiming I can “fix” everything.
I’m not even claiming a simple 30-60 minute processing and brainstorming conversation will cure their need to always “be busy”.

I’m simply stating people need to be awakened. And I can do that. Heck, anyone can!

I’m on this journey as well. I do not sit here judging folks. I sit here as a man who has walked many of life’s roughest roads.

I’m still learning. I’m still growing. I still need others in my corner coaching me.

This is exactly what qualifies me to lend insights.

Here are four lessons I’ve learned about being busy:

1) Busy is a choice.
2) Busy is an excuse.
3) Busy means priorities are not aligned.
4) Busy is often a myth.

If you have found yourself on the side of “busy”, trust me, you are not alone.

Without me hearing your story, I’ll offer three steps you can take to begin eliminating “busyness” from your life:

  1. Omit the word BUSY from your vocabulary!

This will help you begin to find new ways to reply when people strike up a conversation and ask you about life. Hopefully, it will help you contemplate life and your answer before giving the standard “hum ho what do ya know” shallow reply “busy”.

  1. Create a time log!

Log all your activities in each hour of the day. This will help you determine if you are truly busy or if you just “feel” busy because your priorities are misaligned and you suck at time management.

  1. Create a top three checklist!

Make a list of the top three things you must tend to each day. Then make sure you tend to those top three before anything else is done.

(Priorities)

Once you conquer the top three list you can increase it to the top five. Accomplishing the most important tasks on your list at the beginning of each day will ensure you feel accomplished!

BONUS #1:

Prioritize your life. If everything becomes a priority, nothing is a priority. It’s up to you to figure out what your priorities are.

BONUS #2:

Stop using the excuse that you are busy when folks ask you to do things. And stop saying yes if you know you cannot follow through.

Be honest and let them know it’s just not a priority for you!

This alone will earn a badge of honor that is far more honorable than the greatest of “intentions”.

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠…. 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐘𝐎𝐔

By Paul B • March 23, 2025
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By Paul B • March 23, 2025
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By Paul B • March 23, 2025
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Who Am I

By Paul B • March 23, 2025
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A Period of Agony

By Paul B • March 13, 2025
Sit In It… Experience It… Learn From It Some days, sadness feels overwhelming, almost tangible, as if it’s trying to teach us something we’ve yet to learn. Today, I find myself in such a moment—sitting in sadness, letting it wash over me, tears coming unbidden. I don’t often linger here, but today, I feel compelled to sit with it for a moment. Why? I can’t quite pinpoint it. Perhaps it’s a deep longing to be better—better than I was, better than I am, better than I ever thought I could be. Or perhaps it’s the weight of realizing I haven’t always lived up to the man I’ve aspired to become. It’s easy to catalog the ways I could have been more: more kind, more patient, more compassionate, more present. I could have been more diligent, more understanding, more thoughtful. I could have loved more—deeper, better, and with more intention. The adversities of life have often distracted me, frustrated my purpose, and shifted my focus inward when I should have been outwardly focused on others. And yet, as much as regret can pull us into despair, perhaps sadness has its own purpose. Perhaps sadness invites us to pause, reflect, and grow. Sitting in sadness doesn’t have to mean wallowing in it. It can mean experiencing it, letting it teach us, and learning from it. Perhaps the tears and the ache remind me of what I do not want to be. They remind me of the kind of man I should be and the man I still desire to become. Sadness can become a teacher if we let it—a mirror that reflects not just the brokenness but also the possibilities. Maybe it’s here to show me that I can still be kind, compassionate, patient, and empathetic. That I can still learn to be more present, more thoughtful, and more loving. Maybe sadness is enabling me to see through the smoke, guiding me toward clarity and a deeper understanding of myself. As hard as it is, perhaps I’m meant to sit in this sadness for a moment. To let it shape me into someone who can better serve others, help them feel seen, and guide them toward joy, peace, and fulfillment. So today, I sit with it. I experience it. I learn from it. And when the sadness lifts, I’ll emerge as someone more thoughtful, more loving, and more attuned to the needs of others.  Because maybe that’s the purpose of sadness—to deepen our humanity, broaden our capacity for love, and remind us of the human we’re striving to become.

Be More Intentional

By Paul B • February 25, 2025
For the first 32 years of my life, I wandered aimlessly. Every road I took seemed to end in a dead end. I jumped from job to job, 👎🏼 Unsure of what I wanted. I surrounded myself with the wrong crowds, 👎🏼 Trying to fill a void. I chased shortcuts to success, 👎🏼 Without even knowing what success truly was. Man, I was a mess. The Good ✅ Through it all, I learned some hard lessons. I developed grit, fortitude, and determination. The Bad ❌ It took me 32 long years to start living in a way that was honorable, respectable, and positively progressive. I’m grateful for both—the lessons and the journey—but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I’d figured it out sooner. I know there are other men out there who’ve felt—or are feeling—the same: Frustration, Heartache, Fatigue, Confusion, Defeat. If that’s you, hear me out. Over the past eight years, I’ve learned one powerful truth: Success, money, jobs, friends… none of it really matters until you’ve figured out one thing— 👉🏼 WHO YOU ARE. This was the missing ingredient for me for so many years. And I know it’s the missing ingredient for so many other men right now. Maybe it’s what you’re missing, too. Do not let this be the thing that continues to hold you back from the progress, fulfillment, and purpose you’re seeking. Here’s what I want to share with you: One of the frameworks that helped me uncover WHO I AM. It’s simple. But it’s not easy. It requires time, diligence, and a willingness to dig deep into your heart and existence. But it works. Use it. Don’t procrastinate. Don’t let another dead end stop you. Because here’s the truth: everything good, honorable, trustworthy, noble, and praiseworthy in life flows from one place—WHO YOU ARE at your core. The D.E.S.I.G.N. Framework: This framework is designed to help you identify your unique makeup: Drives: What excites you? What fires you up? Experiences: What unique experiences have shaped you into the man you are today? Spirituality: How do you best connect with God? Impact: What arena do you feel most compelled to influence or contribute to? Genius: What are the things you do repeatedly, successfully, and joyfully? Nature: What’s your personality? Are you more extroverted or introverted? Do you thrive in structure or spontaneity? This is simply a starting point. But starting is key. If you need help working through this or figuring out your next steps, don’t hesitate to reach out.  Your journey starts with YOU. Don’t wait any longer to uncover who that is.
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