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Paul B • January 25, 2025

Strength Not of My Own

Over the last couple of years, I’ve been on a journey of personal development across multiple areas of my life. Taking inventory revealed where I was lacking, and I realized that if I wanted to become a better, more valuable, and fully equipped man of purpose, I had to take action.

While working on the collective aspects of my life has been a force multiplier, my faith has been the true power source behind it all.

For the past couple—or maybe a few—years (pardon my poor memory), I’ve made it my main priority to read scripture, reflect on devotionals, and pray daily.

I firmly believe this commitment is the main reason I’ve been able to endure the adversities and agonies of life: challenges in relationships, financial struggles, depression, anxiety, negative self-talk, failures, health issues in my family, and more.

Lately, I’ve been focused on finding purpose in the midst of external and internal agony. This has been one of the most difficult areas of growth I’ve encountered.

Finding purpose in agony has required a total deconstruction and reconstruction of my thoughts, beliefs, and values. It has demanded that I rely on God to help me understand what is within my control and what is beyond it. It has required me to surrender what is inside me that must be released and reject what is outside of me that doesn’t belong. I’ve had to take every thought captive and ask God to help me discern whether it aligns with His word and His ways.

I still fall short—daily, hourly, probably every minute.

However, I believe my relentless pursuit of God’s word and daily communion with Him has been the key to preparing me for the unknown and propelling me through the unpredictable and uncomfortable seasons of life where agony is present.

And, in His typical fashion, God shows up exactly when He knows I need Him most. Sometimes it’s a soft whisper, sometimes through nature, and often through the people around me who speak words of life. He also uses the wisdom of others, like these words from Oswald Chambers, to remind me of His strength:

“To those who have had no agony, Jesus says, ‘I have nothing for you; stand on your own feet, square your own shoulders. I have come for the man who knows he has a bigger handful than he can cope with, who knows there are forces he cannot touch. I will do everything for him if he will let Me. Only let a man grant he needs it, and I will do it for him.’”

True strength is not my own. It comes from surrendering to the One who holds it all.

Blessings & Honor,

Pb


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By Paul B • March 23, 2025
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠…. 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐘𝐎𝐔

By Paul B • March 23, 2025
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SIlence the Noise

By Paul B • March 23, 2025
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Owning Peace

By Paul B • March 23, 2025
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Identity Crisis

By Paul B • March 23, 2025
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Who Am I

By Paul B • March 23, 2025
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A Period of Agony

By Paul B • March 13, 2025
Sit In It… Experience It… Learn From It Some days, sadness feels overwhelming, almost tangible, as if it’s trying to teach us something we’ve yet to learn. Today, I find myself in such a moment—sitting in sadness, letting it wash over me, tears coming unbidden. I don’t often linger here, but today, I feel compelled to sit with it for a moment. Why? I can’t quite pinpoint it. Perhaps it’s a deep longing to be better—better than I was, better than I am, better than I ever thought I could be. Or perhaps it’s the weight of realizing I haven’t always lived up to the man I’ve aspired to become. It’s easy to catalog the ways I could have been more: more kind, more patient, more compassionate, more present. I could have been more diligent, more understanding, more thoughtful. I could have loved more—deeper, better, and with more intention. The adversities of life have often distracted me, frustrated my purpose, and shifted my focus inward when I should have been outwardly focused on others. And yet, as much as regret can pull us into despair, perhaps sadness has its own purpose. Perhaps sadness invites us to pause, reflect, and grow. Sitting in sadness doesn’t have to mean wallowing in it. It can mean experiencing it, letting it teach us, and learning from it. Perhaps the tears and the ache remind me of what I do not want to be. They remind me of the kind of man I should be and the man I still desire to become. Sadness can become a teacher if we let it—a mirror that reflects not just the brokenness but also the possibilities. Maybe it’s here to show me that I can still be kind, compassionate, patient, and empathetic. That I can still learn to be more present, more thoughtful, and more loving. Maybe sadness is enabling me to see through the smoke, guiding me toward clarity and a deeper understanding of myself. As hard as it is, perhaps I’m meant to sit in this sadness for a moment. To let it shape me into someone who can better serve others, help them feel seen, and guide them toward joy, peace, and fulfillment. So today, I sit with it. I experience it. I learn from it. And when the sadness lifts, I’ll emerge as someone more thoughtful, more loving, and more attuned to the needs of others.  Because maybe that’s the purpose of sadness—to deepen our humanity, broaden our capacity for love, and remind us of the human we’re striving to become.

Be More Intentional

By Paul B • February 25, 2025
For the first 32 years of my life, I wandered aimlessly. Every road I took seemed to end in a dead end. I jumped from job to job, 👎🏼 Unsure of what I wanted. I surrounded myself with the wrong crowds, 👎🏼 Trying to fill a void. I chased shortcuts to success, 👎🏼 Without even knowing what success truly was. Man, I was a mess. The Good ✅ Through it all, I learned some hard lessons. I developed grit, fortitude, and determination. The Bad ❌ It took me 32 long years to start living in a way that was honorable, respectable, and positively progressive. I’m grateful for both—the lessons and the journey—but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I’d figured it out sooner. I know there are other men out there who’ve felt—or are feeling—the same: Frustration, Heartache, Fatigue, Confusion, Defeat. If that’s you, hear me out. Over the past eight years, I’ve learned one powerful truth: Success, money, jobs, friends… none of it really matters until you’ve figured out one thing— 👉🏼 WHO YOU ARE. This was the missing ingredient for me for so many years. And I know it’s the missing ingredient for so many other men right now. Maybe it’s what you’re missing, too. Do not let this be the thing that continues to hold you back from the progress, fulfillment, and purpose you’re seeking. Here’s what I want to share with you: One of the frameworks that helped me uncover WHO I AM. It’s simple. But it’s not easy. It requires time, diligence, and a willingness to dig deep into your heart and existence. But it works. Use it. Don’t procrastinate. Don’t let another dead end stop you. Because here’s the truth: everything good, honorable, trustworthy, noble, and praiseworthy in life flows from one place—WHO YOU ARE at your core. The D.E.S.I.G.N. Framework: This framework is designed to help you identify your unique makeup: Drives: What excites you? What fires you up? Experiences: What unique experiences have shaped you into the man you are today? Spirituality: How do you best connect with God? Impact: What arena do you feel most compelled to influence or contribute to? Genius: What are the things you do repeatedly, successfully, and joyfully? Nature: What’s your personality? Are you more extroverted or introverted? Do you thrive in structure or spontaneity? This is simply a starting point. But starting is key. If you need help working through this or figuring out your next steps, don’t hesitate to reach out.  Your journey starts with YOU. Don’t wait any longer to uncover who that is.
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